Sound and Beyond

Okay, this computer program is quite hard for a deaf person.

I uploaded a program to my computer called 'Sound and Beyond' and I recall the one thing my audiologist said to me when I got it from him.... "it's hard." And he was right... My audiologist is also deaf, and has two cochlear implants, so I have to take his word for it. He said that it is not an easy program to get through, however it is beneficial in how it works my listening skills. It is an easy thing to do when I am alone in the room with nothing else to do, and being at college, it is not easy to have someone take the time to work on listening with. There are so many other things I rather be doing than working on my listening skills.

But anyways, just this past week I actually got bored enough to try it. It was quite tough to do... and made me realize how much work I need to do in order to get better at listening. The first thing I did in the program was to do the auditory assessment which tested where I am at currently when it comes to my listening skills.

There was three tests, the first one was a pure tone test, where it gave me three sounds, two are the same sound and another is different. I have to pick the one that is different. It was tricky to do that due to how close they sounded... But that was my best test overall compared to the rest that I did after that. Most of the tests in this category, I get around half of them correct.

The second test I did was a grid of words, all similar in sound/saying whatever. This specific one used words that was 'h...d' pretty much, and some were made up which made it harder when I couldn't hear the words before I started, so I kinda had to guess what they would sound like in order to match it. It was like a matching game where I have to pick the word that the computer just said. On that test, I scored a 20 percent.... eh... it was hard... haha.

My third test was worse.... It was also a grid of words, but it was a consonant recognition one, where it had 'aBa' etc... so I have to pick based on the middle sound that I hear. It was a lot harder for me to do this one due to what the choices were, they had 's' 'sh' 'ch' 'th' 'j' which usually all sound similar to me.... But anyways, I scored 15% on that, and that's eh. I can keep working on it though.

This program is tough, but if I do not challenge myself I will not grow in my listening skills and continue at this stable level that I've been at every time I go see Mark, my audiologist. Next time I see him, I'm hoping for an improvement, even if it's marginal.

Anywhoooo, that's my update.

Until next time,

-Annie

Thank You

Thank you,

that's something that I do not say nearly enough to everyone in my life. So I thought I'll take the time now to say my thanks specifically to the people I love.

I do not think I would be having a successful recovery and journey if it wasn't for my parents being there through everything of my entire life. Also I love having all the support of my friends around me, and curious people too helps me continue my process of getting better at hearing.

Over the last few weeks, I've realized how I am as a person which is stubborn... and that has affected how my hearing is. I could say that I got lazy with my hearing, where I just do not try to get better at hearing with my hearing aids and just focused mostly on lip-reading all the time. Which is why this journey with a CI has been difficult for me, I've been put out of my element of depending on lip-reading and trying to listen more. The way I am stubborn is that I hate using any helpful equipment and often had to be bribed into doing so by my mother as I grew up. When I was little, I hated my hearing aids and often pulled them out of my ears. When my mother told me that I'll get treats or rewards for wearing them, I behaved. And that's how I now got used to them and wear them for most of the day.

But I still am stubborn when it comes to using MORE assistive devices such as an FM system. Throughout high school, I rarely used it due to how independent I like to be and also I often do not like being singled out in a classroom, or in the population for that matter. I love being a deaf woman but at the same time, I do not want to be put at a disadvantage right away when someone sees me using an FM system or anything that indicates me to be deaf. I feel like people change their behaviors and how they are speaking in order to accommodate me without even asking me if that's what I want. Like one previous experience was where I went to get a tattoo and I was talking to the receptionist in person at the counter, and she had noticed that I was deaf by seeing the hearing aids and started signing to me instead of speaking to me. Now that was a problem due to how I do not use sign language anymore and I had to just pretend that I could understand what she was signing and lalalala deeda! haha.

Now I'm in college, with a hearing aid and a Cochlear Implant. I have an FM system for my hearing aid... and don't even use it. I know I should be, but once again I have gotten back into that mode of not wanting to be accommodated so excessively. I like to function pretty much like any hearing person, in which I don't even use the Relay or TTY system for phones.... I avoid phones overall. However I did try out something new, the Telecoil button on my implant yesterday. I called my mom and tested it out.... let's just say that it was weird. It reminded me of what things sounded like after I had the implant turned on for the first time... so basically cartoonish voices. And it was just high pitched talking to my mom, after like 2 minutes of talking to her I switched sides and just continued on my hearing aids. It's a lot easier to use it with my hearing aids, even on my left side which isn't that great with phone conversations. Before the cochlear implants, I always used the right side for talking on the phone which was rare. I probably used the phone to call about maybe 15 mins per month. That's it... aka low cellphone bill! besides the texting plan :)

Anyways, back to my original reason for writing this post, I want to thank people. Specifically my family who has been there for me through everything and I love them for their support. Also my friends have been amazing, just being curious about how things are going with my implant and being friends with me through everything. I also have a guy who has been great to me, just trying to make me work at getting better with listening using my implant, he's inspiring me a little. =) Everyone who I have met and known in the past have been following my journey and still is rooting me on, thank you and keep doing it! .... this is the point where I'll be dragged off the stage for going too long on a thank you speech... =P so thank you everyone for being there for me, i love you guys for it and do not know where I'll be without it.

Until next time,

-Annie

New look ;-)

So, another update!

I decided to change the looks, hope you guys like it!

Today I started using the personal audio cable with my implant to connect it to the Ipod! It was kind of weird using it due to how the music is directly in my head, no interference from outside environmental noises. I noticed that I'm still going along with the beats and rhythm like I used to and not really trying to listen to the actual words of the song. It's a bit harder to do that because I feel like the music is now a voice in my head, like it's right there in my head. I am just absorbed in it and is tuning everything out.

The other thing I did today was go to the library on campus, and read. That place is so quiet, that it was relaxing for once, but also useful due to how I could identify sounds more easily. I even turned off my hearing aid, and just listened for any noises. I heard people walking, and I was on the 12th floor... not too many people are around there. I also have been trying to talk to people and listen more with just my cochlear implant. I feel like I've been inspired to try to do better by the time I go back, better than getting 25% of the words right. So I have finally installed a program on my computer called sound and beyond. But I didn't get a chance to use it yet and according to Mark, who has used it, it is hard... So we'll see how I manage with this!

The other thing that I have been noticing more is that when I just wear my hearing aid in my left ear alone, I feel like I do not catch as much as I used to in the past. Maybe this is a good sign that wearing both together is working good for me and that I am relying on my CI more than my hearing aid. But I still do rely heavily on my lip reading skills, and I am trying my best not to do that.

I'm not really sure of what else I feel like telling right now. So for now,

until next time-

-Annie

Clarification

My mother worries. And always gets confused by what I relay from the doctor's sayings. So I feel like some clarification has to be done for the masses.

In my last post, I mentioned how the ear infection has made two of my electrodes malfunction, etc. So I have word for word what my doctor Mark said about those two little dots.

"First, I just want to clarify, the two electrodes in question did not fail, they are still functioning electrodes. However, they are functioning in a way that is different. What can happen is that Anna's perception to sound could possibly change if we continued to allow these electrodes to be active. When I talked with Anna she did not say that she noticed any difference in her perception of sound, and in fact, stated that things continue to improve. Her awareness to sound is still very, very good. She still has all the other electrodes in the cochlea still active and working great. It is just something that we are going to keep our eye on. You ask if this would not negatively affect her performance. The answer is no that it shouldn't. What happens when we turned these two specific electrodes off, we reassigned the information that was going to those two electrodes to other electrodes in her cochlea. Therefore she is not missing any information. "

That's right... my mother went and asked him specifically what was going on with that... and that's the answer she got from him. All positive. Don't worry masses around the world, I am doing quite well in this progress... more uphill than downhills.

That's all I wanted to update on.

Other than that, life continues onward.

-Annie

Making progress... maybe?

Had my one month appointment on friday, it has been 8 weeks since the implant was turned on.

good and bad news from this one though...

ear infection is bad. very bad. it caused two of my electronodes or whatyoumightcallit... to malfunction and now i'm left with 22... But i have to stop myself and try to explain this. Inside my cochlea there is a wire going through it with like 24 dots on it, those are electrinodes or whatmightyoucallit. and they help stimul

ate the nerves in that spot and make my hearing work. according to my doctor, i only need 8 of them to work in order for my implant to work. they put 24 in total... now i have 22 due to the ear infection kinda messing up 2 of them and making them malfunctioning... they may fix itself by the time i go back to visit in december but who knows. It's not anything to worry about according to mark, so i'm not worried.

here's a picture to try to show it better.

it is kind of like that... just ignore the numbers but this is a cochlea with a wire through it like mine... and i think you can kind of get what i am saying from the picture i hope.

Anyways, that was the kinda bad news... and i have a little more. We did our usual testing, and he said that my implant's result from the testing is still stable... not getting worse or better. But i kinda of knew i would get that result due to how busy i was with school this past month and not having any time to really focus on my training of the listening skills in my right ear. HOWEVER, i have good news from that testing also! Last time, back in august, we did a test where it's a man's voice on a tape saying 'ready?' 'book' or some random word and I am supposed to repeat back whatever that word was.... last time with that test, using both my hearing aid and the implant i got 5% of the words correct... kind of pathetic. BUT this time, i got 25% correct!! So it's obvious that I am improving using both ears and that my brain is liking this!

Overall, I am pleased with the outcome of my appointment, and the next one is not until winter break so I can just relax and get through this semester aiming for the stars with my education. =)

I don't feel like saying much more right now... quite tired and got to get ready for the pats game soon! WOO!

until next time,

-Annie

Ears

I feel like my ears are not able to handle all the stress and busy-ness of life. At this moment I feel like I managed to get an ear infection in my left ear which is my hearing aid ear... I certainly hope this is not the case. I hope I can somehow make it through the rest of the year in ideal ear/hearing conditions.

More about my cochlear implant though, I've noticed that I tend to focus a lot more on the background noises, for example right now the vacuuming in the hallway is really annoying. I definitely feel like I have a mild hearing loss in my right ear though because last night I was just lying down in my bed and I kept hearing everything in my right ear but not too much in my left... There is a considerable difference in sounds between the ears. It's tricky trying to learn how to listen in my right ear because the noises are much different than what I hear in my left (hearing aid) ear. I feel like I am hearing two different things when really they are the same thing just sounds different in each ear. However it is useful to know the sound in my left ear as a way to figure out the new "sound" in my right ear. Like if I hear the microwave whirring in my left ear, I can figure out what it sounds like in my right... I usually shut off the hearing aid and listen to the sound that I already identified with my left ear with my cochlear implant in order to know what it is and remember it for the future.

I have been getting comments from people saying that they have noticed a big change in how I communicate with people, like I am understanding more without looking at them and speak more clearly now. So mostly positive aspects of getting the implant for me, only negatives have been that it's a lot of work to learn everything especially at my age right now and how much I have going on in my life. Like what anonymous commenter said a few posts ago... it will all get better... I still don't believe that person. But I am keeping a positive spirit about everything. =)

Later,

off to do my homework.

-Annie

No life

So ever since getting to college,

I've had no free time to even think about my ears... and yet they're holding up somehow through all of my day of listening to teachers and customers at my job. etc.

But it's obvious that it's been a lot of work for me.... so obvious because I managed to get an ear infection in the ear... my cochlear implant side. That's a problem. A big mean problem.... although i do not have hearing in that ear canal itself, it still could affect the implant in some way and I am crossing my fingers that it turns out to be okay. I took ten days of medication for my ear infection... it still feels like I have one so i'm worried. Hopefully Smullen can help out when i see her on friday.

Friday is my 2 months in, follow up appointment. I have no expectations for this appointment with Mark, however I do feel like I am doing better with the implant than with my previous hearing aid, so I am quite pleased. Hopefully I'll find the time to update this after my appointment on friday! Time is very constricted as of now... I only have free time now due to my frustration with my printer and is trying to resolve that...

Anyways...

I cannot remember anything else that's important for people to know about my deaf-abilities slash my cochlear implants slash my life.

AKA. my life is nonexistent due to homework and classes... all for the future I suppose!

Until next time,

Annie