that's something that I do not say nearly enough to everyone in my life. So I thought I'll take the time now to say my thanks specifically to the people I love.
I do not think I would be having a successful recovery and journey if it wasn't for my parents being there through everything of my entire life. Also I love having all the support of my friends around me, and curious people too helps me continue my process of getting better at hearing.
Over the last few weeks, I've realized how I am as a person which is stubborn... and that has affected how my hearing is. I could say that I got lazy with my hearing, where I just do not try to get better at hearing with my hearing aids and just focused mostly on lip-reading all the time. Which is why this journey with a CI has been difficult for me, I've been put out of my element of depending on lip-reading and trying to listen more. The way I am stubborn is that I hate using any helpful equipment and often had to be bribed into doing so by my mother as I grew up. When I was little, I hated my hearing aids and often pulled them out of my ears. When my mother told me that I'll get treats or rewards for wearing them, I behaved. And that's how I now got used to them and wear them for most of the day.
But I still am stubborn when it comes to using MORE assistive devices such as an FM system. Throughout high school, I rarely used it due to how independent I like to be and also I often do not like being singled out in a classroom, or in the population for that matter. I love being a deaf woman but at the same time, I do not want to be put at a disadvantage right away when someone sees me using an FM system or anything that indicates me to be deaf. I feel like people change their behaviors and how they are speaking in order to accommodate me without even asking me if that's what I want. Like one previous experience was where I went to get a tattoo and I was talking to the receptionist in person at the counter, and she had noticed that I was deaf by seeing the hearing aids and started signing to me instead of speaking to me. Now that was a problem due to how I do not use sign language anymore and I had to just pretend that I could understand what she was signing and lalalala deeda! haha.
Now I'm in college, with a hearing aid and a Cochlear Implant. I have an FM system for my hearing aid... and don't even use it. I know I should be, but once again I have gotten back into that mode of not wanting to be accommodated so excessively. I like to function pretty much like any hearing person, in which I don't even use the Relay or TTY system for phones.... I avoid phones overall. However I did try out something new, the Telecoil button on my implant yesterday. I called my mom and tested it out.... let's just say that it was weird. It reminded me of what things sounded like after I had the implant turned on for the first time... so basically cartoonish voices. And it was just high pitched talking to my mom, after like 2 minutes of talking to her I switched sides and just continued on my hearing aids. It's a lot easier to use it with my hearing aids, even on my left side which isn't that great with phone conversations. Before the cochlear implants, I always used the right side for talking on the phone which was rare. I probably used the phone to call about maybe 15 mins per month. That's it... aka low cellphone bill! besides the texting plan :)
Anyways, back to my original reason for writing this post, I want to thank people. Specifically my family who has been there for me through everything and I love them for their support. Also my friends have been amazing, just being curious about how things are going with my implant and being friends with me through everything. I also have a guy who has been great to me, just trying to make me work at getting better with listening using my implant, he's inspiring me a little. =) Everyone who I have met and known in the past have been following my journey and still is rooting me on, thank you and keep doing it! .... this is the point where I'll be dragged off the stage for going too long on a thank you speech... =P so thank you everyone for being there for me, i love you guys for it and do not know where I'll be without it.
Until next time,
-Annie
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